Dupa 11 zile de festival si saptamanile pregatitoare am trait aseara o experienta de profan: autobuzul din Time out of Joint. Nimeni nu era acolo, nimic nu era real. Doar eu, eu, parbrizul imens pe care rareori il observi si bocitul subtil,   in noapte, printre boschetari si fantezii selenare. Dupa prima zi post-festival, libera pe strada la ora 16.00, m-am trezit bocind la fel de duios si pe furis. Uitasem. Uitasem cum e sa prinzi un apus din mers, un autobuz aproape gol pentru ca inca nu au iesit muncitorii poporului de la muncile lor patriotice, si senzatia aia de pars scufundat in lancezeala.

Si de undeva din interior ceasul meu, debusolat de intuneric si de faptul ca sunt acasa, stie ca poate sa se opreasca pentru 12 ore.

sau poate sunt deja.

… I need a slave who will stab me and a faithful dog that will devour my body…

I’m watching penguins of madagscar, episode – countless, writing a letter to Frau Camelia Voiculescu, blabbering about theatrical projects and realising just how much the Budapest Operetta and Musical actually kicks ass and listening to Bonaparte to shoot my ego down.

About as dead as could be.

Only a true panda expert, however, would know these startling facts:
That the otherwise slow moving Panda can outrun a cheetah when moving backwards
That panda fur, when woven into a fabric, is bulletproof
A panda briefly replaced Ringo Starr in the Beatles
Pandas were frequently used as background extras in classic black and white films
That all panda cubs or ‘cubinetts’ as they are called, are born female and will only turn male if given a fright in their first 48 hours

But it’s too late.

100 facts about pandas

Some came, some could have, but when they all went I gathered my gifts and borrowed possessions. Some stood still for years and taught me comfort and deeply rooted vice, some came around for a day or two and estranged vile hints for my immagination to indulge itself into. Some left dreams and music, some plagued me with courage or fear. Some even seemed to share the same story and give me that patterned air of emotional derrangement.

Now, I could recall all of them – all and none, only thinking of the one to come.

*****